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I came under Dr. Farinholt's care as an emergency admittance to Scripps La Jolla ER in septic shock from a gall bladder blockage. After being stabilized and sent to ICU I was assigned to her for potential surgery. What a fortunate thing for me! I had no idea who she was but quickly realized she is a powerfully winning personality who inspires complete confidence in her knowledge and abilities. She isolated the source of my problem and worked quickly to get me into surgery. She had to wait for an OR to become available and adapted her schedule to my needs, waiting hours for one to become open for me. What doctor does that?! She completed a difficult (due to the very bad condition of my gall bladder) laparoscopic cholesystectomy on me with no complications and with terrifically upbeat moral support for my flagging emotional condition. She is a complete gem. Her patients are fortunate to have her on their team! I certainly was! THANK YOU Doctor Gina!!!
Naturally you'd think it all starts with. meal;. mean, that first bite is euphoric. You sink your teeth into something so sensationally delicious and an alarm goes off. A loud, taste bud tingling alarm that ignites. flurry of adrenaline and calm then sends it gently rushing through your veins. With every chew. song sounds, while your hunger hums. melody of appreciation and. symphony of satisfaction sweetly serenades your every sense. Okay, so maybe it doesn't happen as dramatically for you, but for me eating was so much more than eating; it was an event, an experience. Besides, I'm an Actor and with that comes. certain type of flair, so just go with me.
There. was, 23, and an impressive 630 lbs. obviously by this point in my life. had become somewhat of. music. aficionado. I first tuned in as. child,. have no idea why food sang to me the way it did or why dining added an almost drunken dynamic but even as. kid. recognized the affects immediately. In the beginning gluttony was. Godsend,. grace that. welcomed with desperation and open arms because frankly, in my house,. needed the music to either fill in the silence or drown out the yelling. I indulged in the groove completely and danced furiously under its distraction. The benefits that accompanied every bite were both blissful and blurring. My relationship with food was. complex one; for as far back as my memory it was. companion and. learned quickly to seek it not for nourishment, but for numbness.
You see, in my family, food was the only physical form of affection that ever got passed around. To be honest, the only positive or fond memories. have in that household are centered on some kind of meal. In my life food was the judge and jury. I learned my value on any given day through the edible evidence. was presented. It was how. knew if. was good or bad, it was how. depicted my mother's moods. Whether or not she cooked could determine how she was feeling. Spontaneous take out feast were like quarterly check. ins from Santa. Desserts were apologies, buffets were celebration or reward. Restriction or exemption in my house were like corporal punishment. Not to mention, the humiliation and incessant taunting for those who wore their lessons around their waist. As luck would have it, in. household of at the time five people that was of course. table for one. To say that. was pretty much nutritionally doomed from the start is an understatement of epic proportion. I was forced to give up my aspirations of being. perfectly chiseled, athletically built Adonis and trade them in for an aim. little more hefty.
By the time. was in high school. had learned so much more in life and had the pants size to prove it. I had been through. gambit of group and foster homes, courtrooms, juvenile detention centers, multiple counselors. therapist, mandated prescription problem solvers and the food was there through thick and thicker. I was depressed. I needed. way to deal with life without having to deal with life. So like any good performer would,. created. character. I sliced myself into two roles;. part. played for public, and part reserved for me and me only. My public persona's task was simple; razzle. dazzle. em. Distract them from my appearance by any means necessary. I tattooed and. S. on his chest to symbolize my secret plan for survival. Suppress, Smile, Sing, Stay distant, oh. and snack lightly. Meanwhile behind the scenes. acted out my anguish by adapting the abusive methods. had been victim and become accustom to. Episodes of binging and bulimia, Self. starvation and stuffing myself to sleep. In the silence of solitude. suffered and self. hated and on the surface. simply pretended like. hadn't. care in the world. Through homelessness and heartache. preformed and the show was amazing. So good, that. myself had. hard time remembering that my surface sanctuary was make believe and. began to spend most of my time there avoiding anything real.
Suddenly the show was over. Reality was back with. vengeance, my weight had become crippling and there was nothing. could do. They say that when you sweep problems under the rug, they eventually start to trip you up when you walk. As you can imagine,. 630 pound problem is pretty damn hard to side step. I was trapped. I traded in my silken red stage curtains for solid black ones which. used to cover my windows and block out the world. I was barely functioning, walking was almost impossible especially if. planned on breathing at the same time. I was in constant pain,. mean it literally hurt to do everything; sitting, standing, leaning, laying, it all hurt. I had horrible insomnia, awake without rest for days at. time and any sleep. managed was interrupted by the apnea. I was hopeless and honestly had no idea how. had gotten there. I spent lonely days trying to pin point the place where my life had taken this turn as If. thought figuring that out would somehow lift the curse and undo it. All of the music had turned sad. 23 years old and. woke up every day waiting to die. Days passed and my patience was the only thing that grew thin. Along my journey. had tried just about every weight loss program, consumed every shake and supplement, and followed every perky personal trainer video to no avail. I was done,. had reached the end of my rope or had at least grown too heavy for it to hold me any longer. I decided to give up.
Thinking back I'm not sure how but somewhere in the midst of my suicidal ideation. found. seminar. I learned that what. was dealing with wasn't the moral deficiency. had been accused of all my life but. disorder. The eating, as. discovered, was merely. symptom of my problem and not the source which immediately made the madness seem manageable. Dr. Bhoyrul was the lifeline. never saw coming. I'll probably never know why he cared so much or what it was he saw in me but when. met with him, he looked me in my eye and with the most assuring tone accompanied by. solid handshake said,. we're gonna fix this. It was as if in his mind, the problem was already solved. Over the following couple of months. worked my ass off to get to. place where surgery was possible. This time it wasn't the food, but. friend that guided me. Suddenly my station played tunes of inspiration. My doctor stayed in constant communication and had so many encouraging conversations. On September 22, 2011 through. tons of sweat,. couple of tears and the. Rocky'theme music,. arrived at my destination. Side by side we walked down the hospital hallway into an operating room and. future. thought. had given up on. I remember the coldness of the room and how it was balanced out by the warmth in his eyes. I wasn't scared,. was sure and that is certainly something. wasn't used to. I climbed on the table, laid back, he took my hand and smiled. There goes that melody again. The soothe of the symphony started to wash over me only this time. hadn't taken. bite of anything. I just closed my eyes, counted backwards from 10 and let the music play.
Two years and 400 pounds. & and counting. later. am. whole new me. It has been. hell of. ride but now and days. can fit the seatbelts. The recovery process was literally the quickest part of the whole ordeal. I was home from the hospital in. few days and back on my feet without pain in about two weeks. I was equipped with everything that. needed to make the transition as smooth and effective as possible and Dr. Bhoyrul made sure of that. I don't have the adjectives to describe the ways that my life has changed but we can start with the fact that. actually am living one. Dr. Bhoyrul and the team at Delmar surgical rescued me and restored my belief in possibility. I don't think there is an expression of gratitude grand enough for the life that was saved and the chance that was given to me. Every day. get. new opportunity to appreciate the differences in my world. It's sometimes unbelievable to me that. have come as far as. have. No more dark shades and Isolation, the show must go on and these days. stand beneath the spot light. very whole and very real person. I never thought. would ever be able to say that. don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not anymore but the truth is every day. move closer to becoming the person. always wanted to be. I get to recreate my character and bring some of the stuff. was suppressing to the surface. As it turns out, reality isn't so bad. I'm finally getting comfortable just being me and it is truly the best role I've have ever played.
Bottom line; It works. This surgery is most definitely. miracle but by no means. magic wand. I didn't wake up from the anesthetic in. brand new body ready to frolic on the beach in. bikini. It didn't instantly change my world or the people involved in it but what it did was let me know that change is possible and gave me the motivation. needed to chase that possibility. So often in life and certainly in weight loss we put so much work into something and it doesn't work out. We try tirelessly to overcome an obstacle only to discover it insurmountable. What this process did for me was guarantee me. victory, it assured me that there was indeed. finish line and as long as. was willing and determined to keep walking toward it,. would reach it. So to anyone whom has walked an even slightly similar road to mine and it lead you here, go for it. There is. lot you stand to lose. trust me it feels fantastic.
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About Olde Del Mar Surgical
Dr. Sunil Bhoyrul and Dr. Gina Farinholt are bariatric surgeons in San Diego, California. Dr. Bhoyrul helps patients from all over Southern California, including San Diego, La Jolla, Chula Vista, Spring Valley, La Mesa, Coronado, Santee and Los Angeles.
The team at Olde Del Mar Surgical has performed many surgical procedures for patients looking for meaningful weight loss surgery, such as Lap-Band, Laparoscopic Gastric Bypass, Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy, Gastric Plication and Bariatric Revision Surgery.
Dr. Bhoyrul, Dr. Farinholt and their team have helped many patients get their lives and their health back through bariatric surgery in California. Also offering post-operation treatment and patient mentoring, Olde Del Mar Surgical wants to make sure its patients are happy and healthy forever.
OLDE DEL MAR SURGICAL
9850 Genesee Ave., Suite 570
La Jolla, CA 92037
Phone: (858) 457-4917
Fax: (858) 457-3287